If you know someone who is in a violent or abusive relationship, here are some ways you can help:
 | Really listen and believe. Let them name the violence and their reality. |
| Give information, not advice. Refer them to domestic abuse or sexual assault services, and go with them if they ask. |
| Assure confidentiality and keep it. |
| Never forget the need for safety. Let them define and decide what is safe. |
| Let them know that they are not responsible for their partner's actions. |
| Assure them they have done nothing to deserve the abuse. Violence is always wrong, and it is against the law. |
| Listen for their strengths. Help them identify what they are doing well. |
| Respect and support their ability to make wise decisions. |
| Do not criticize the abusive partner. |
| Prepare yourself for the fact that they may go back to the abuser and try again. Assure them that they can always come to you for help. |
| Recognize that they may suffer feelings of loss and grief if they leave the situation. |
| Take care of yourself. Be a good example of someone with clear personal boundaries. |